1981–1990 | |
Poem:
Alasdair Gray © 2005 | |
As soon as I could stand erect and walk without my mother I never understood why people seemed to need each other. Close contact is embarrassing – it chills me to the bone. I quite detest the other sex. I also hate my own. He says: Yesterday a chap in a pub asked me, “Have you never thought of going to be with someone and lying parallel?” “Of course!” I said, “Of course! Of course!” but – He sings: I don’t like it enough to practice enough to do it very well – I don’t like it enough to practice enough to do it very well! He sings: By taking off their clothes at night and getting dressed each day most people waste a lot of time. I’m just not built that way. I never change a garment; I maintain my healthy glow by putting a new coat on top when one rots off below. He says: Yesterday a woman asked me, “Have you never thought of washing? You’ve such a nasty smell.” “I recognise the value of hygiene for others,” I told her, “but as for myself – He sings: I don’t like it enough to practice enough to do it very well – I don’t like it enough to practice enough to do it very well! One day with nothing else to do I entered politics: they made me the Prime Minister in two thousand and six. I had a brand new policy that everyone enjoyed – It brought more weapons, more police, a lot more unemployed! We jettisoned the welfare state – we can’t support the needy. We’re investing in Malaysia where workers aren’t greedy. The only industries we need are armaments and banks, and as for foreign policy, we leave that to the ….. He says: The government of the United States of North America. Recently someone asked me, “Is there really nothing you can do but lead us all to hell?” “I am not a monster,” I said, “Even I often wish the nation and the world could be organised more safely and kindly, but we must face facts! and the first fact to face is – He Sings: We don’t like it enough to practice enough to do it – He says: Ever. Anywhere. It just isn’t practical, you see….. He drifts off stage muttering, “It doesn’t do to be Utopian…..” etcetera. | |||
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