all family, really
need to have a word with my neighbour.
I am sitting there, right, and his cat walks by. Shes the spitting
image of Maddie, our cat, except she has a wee white bib and that can
cause confusion. She was licking her chops as she passed me.
Were you in my house? I asked. Bibs tended to sneak in and
scoff Maddies dinner.
Aye, she said, the salmon was very nice, thanks.
She sat and licked her paw then rubbed it around her head.
I looked at her, That was Maddies salmon, I
said. and anyway, how did you get in, I closed the door?
Ive been studying Ninjas, said Bibs, it seems
to be working, aye?
She's a wee chancer and I was beginning to get annoyed. Stop eating
Maddies dinner, I said.
She stopped preening herself, Come on, big man, I live with another
cat and he eats my dinner, so, I eat Maddies," she stretched
out her arms(legs), "what the problem?
I shook my head and pointed at her and said with some authority, yer,
no mah cat, thats the problem!
Bibs looked at me with a look that I can only describe as disappointment.
She let out a wee sigh, listen, big man, she said, Were
aw Jock Tamsons bairns!
As she slinked away slowly. I could hear her talking to herself, jeez,
and I thought Schrödinger was a tosser