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CONTENTS

Bibs the Cat

  1. we’re all family, really
  2. a little feline philosophy
  3. excuse my french
  4. on the cludgie
  5. the baby
  6. a lesson in socialism
  7. sleeping with the enemy
  8. on the level
  9. a little black and white philosophy
  10. the magpie ultimatum

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3. excuse my French

Bibs wandered in and sat near me while I was having my coffee and croissant on my little chair out in the garden.
“Croissant, eh?” she said.
I try to ignore her. I can’t encourage her as my own wee cat doesn’t like her much.
“D’ye like French stuff?” she asked.
“Oui,” I replied.
“Oooooo,” she mocked, “alors tu parles français?” She chuckled, she obviously doesn’t like me and I have no idea why she even hangs around.
She did that thing cats do: paws out front arse in the air and stretched her back. “I once had a French Chartreux try to hit on me. They’re a kinda blue colour, y’know?”
“Yes,” I said, then possibly a little too smugly. “did he suggest you had a little Chat together?”
“Ha, wit,” she said, “the insolence of the educated. I imagine you have an O level or two?”
“A PhD, in fact,” said I proudly.
“Oh, yer a PHUD are ye?” She got up and walked away, then stopped and turned, “see what I did there, big man?”

 

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