a little black and white philosophy
stopped what I was doing when Bibs came round the corner.
Oh, why did you have to go and do that? I asked.
Hmott? It was difficult for her to speak with a magpie in
The magpie, I said, the one in your mouth.
She put it
down on the grass, oh, that. she shrugged. Its what
You shouldnt kill things, I said.
at me, I take it you havent read Kumars 2006 treatise in
Permissible killing and the irrelevance of being human?
I havent, and I dare say I probably wont
she said, youll be more ethical guy Hume, Locke?
I said, I have read them
Reason alone cannot be a motive to the will, she interjected.
but rather is the slave of the passions
sort of thing? She continued, So, no real reason for me
having the Magpie other than I am passionate about birds. She
principles of truth I can go with up to a point, She banged on,
the truths of mathematical statements, for instance. I mean in
the cat world, two plus two nearly always makes four, but all us cats
agree that the sum of the internal angles in a triangle always comes
to 180 degrees. Basically, some truths when proved, they cant
be unproved. However, his other truth concerns things that actually
exist in the world. She took a big breath, so, I am a cat,
ergo, as Descartes said, je pense, donc je suis. However, and this is
where I separate myself from Hume
and Locke, she said,
oh, and Berkley too, as they argue against innate knowledge, asserting
that human beings cannot have ideas in their minds of which they are
not aware. This is untrue in the cat world where we go on instinct.
Instinct is innate. That bird flew too close and my instinct was to
kill it. I was unaware of this till it happened and now that bird is
As she turned to look at the Magpie, it shot to its feet and flew off.
It had obviously been faking it. She stared after it for a few seconds
then slowly turned to look at me. The look of disappointment on her
wee face was huge. However, I was smiling, which obviously annoyed her.
She stared at me and said, you even think of bringing up Schrödinger,
Big Man, and my claws are in your baws. She walked away.
swear that was the first time I ever heard a cat tut.
I sat down on the garden bench and reached into my pocket for my hip
flask. This was going to take a double hit of a good Malt.