was enjoying my morning coffee, quietly sitting under the pergola; sunshine
"I like that colour."
Startled, I looked down and there was Bibs sitting at my feet. "What
colour?" I asked.
"That one on the flappy thing. It's the same colour as the sky,"
said Bibs. "I like it."
I looked at where she was staring. "Oh, the flag? Yes, it's sky
aye that makes sense." She licked her paw
and drew it across her face. Flag, eh, there's one of those in another
garden a wee bit away. I don't like that one, "she said.
"Why not?" I asked, putting down my coffee cup.
"Och, it's no like this one here, that's like a big Kiss,"
she said, "that one has got lots of crosses on it - it looks like
a square arsehole.".
"Really?" I looked at her, "I'm obviously not as familiar
with arseholes as you are," said I.
"Well, she said, "I get to look at one many times a day."
"Oh, while cleaning yourself?"
She continued to look at me, then asked, "when's indy2, then?"
Don't really know for sure," I said.
"I thought you had yer finger on the pulse, big man?" She
continued to stare.
"Unfortunately, not," I replied. "I only get a say when
I am asked for my say - like everyone else."
"And, when asked, you will say YES, I hope?" Still staring.
I stared back at her wondering what her angle was on this. "Of
course, I will say yes. Why are you so interested in Scottish independence?"
She let out a frustrated sigh, "I might be a cat, but I live here
"Aye, but I am not sure why a cat wou
"Johnson's a FUD," she shouted, "Cummings is a FUD, Patel
is a FUD, Gove is a FUD
they are all FUDs - every last one of
them: tories, labour, lib dems." She was getting a wee bit agitated.
"Well, I wouldn't disagree." I picked up my cup and pondered,"you
seem to know a bit about arseholes and fuds these days, Bibs,"
I said, a little too glibly.
Slightly calmer now, she gave me that look, "Well, I live next
door to one."
"Oh, that'll be the guy on the other side of you, aye?" I
She turned to walk away and said, "Naw, big man, no him."
"Ya cheeky wee
There it was again, that weird cat laugh. A sound to make a grown man
Och, and my coffee had become cold.